The philosophy underpinning this website, and this approach to living with a problem drinker is six fold. There are six main goals which are described below. First we believe that Safety/Survival is of paramount importance. Second, it attempts to Preserve relationships; third is to help you to Alleviate problems by viewing them in a more comprehensive and meaningful way; Fourth is to Coach you on how to Change your living conditions; Fifth is to Empower you to live a fulfilling life independent of his or her drinking; Sixth is to help you to promote a Dialogue with the drinker.
FIRST - Safety / SurvivalUnderpinning all of the aims needs to be your Safety and Survival.
SECOND - Preserve RelationshipsIn this website we aim to give you tools, information and strategies that will help you to keep your relationship alive. This does not mean that you will find pressure and a guilt trip if you want to end the relationship. To stay or not, is of course, a decision that each person needs to make for themselves, based on their own individual circumstances. However at Bottled-up we try to give you the resources to make the relationship more likely to continue. Your relationship is one of the most powerful levers for change that you have and it can bring about the desired change. Or if it does not result in change now then, hopefully, when the drinker does decide to get help or change, there will still be a chance of rebuilding the relationship.
Third - Alleviate ProblemsWe will show you a practical method of addressing the extent and impact of drinking in your life. Based on the acronym HOPE this brand new method will give you the means to examine the main problems and tackle them in a way that is practical and effective.
Fourth - Coach and be CoachedHow you define a problem will determine how you tackle it. Defining your problem in a more practical and pragmatic way means that you can have options that you did not have previously.
Fifth - EmpowerYou probably spend much of your time trying to anticipate how much he will have had to drink. Can you plan an evening with friends? Is it worth cooking dinner tonight? What kind of mood will she be in when she appears?
Sixth - Promote DialogueIf any progress is going to be made it will require that both the partner and the drinker enter into a dialogue about the effect of the drinking. We will show you how that can be accomplished and the way to approach this dialogue when we discuss SHARE.
Above then are the overall goals and philosophy of Bottled-up. It is a philosophy that promotes the positives in one's life while trying to reduce the negatives. Even if you are not be able to change his drinking (although if you follow this program, you should) you can still reduce the effect it has on your life and actively pursue a happy and fulfilling life.
In this website we will introduce you to the tools to accomplish this. We will show you how to use the process we call HOPE, the tool we call SHARE and adopt the attitude we call LOVE. Each of these (HOPE, SHARE and LOVE) are acronyms for the powerful approach that Bottled-up will show you.
An approach that, quite literally, could change your life.