Does he a drinking problem is another very common problem that we are asked on the website and in our respective practices.
In this video we start trying to change how you look at this issue. Normally the drinking is something that affects both of you and can have a profound effect on your relationship. So instead of asking Does he have a drinking problem the more relevant question, the more relevant, and more accurate, question should be is his or her drinking a problem in our life or relationship.
This is not saying that it is your fault or even that anything you are doing or not doing is contributing to his or her drinking. Indeed we are saying quite the opposite, that his or her drinking is an issue for both of you.
For example you may have gone to a party at a friend’s house as a couple and she got drunk and humiliated herself and you. Your response might be that you don’t want to go back to your friend’s house as you would find it too embarrassing to face your friend. Clearly you are being affected by her drinking as your friendship has suffered.
A second example might be that sometimes he may stop off for a drink on the way home from work. He may not tell you in advance of his plans so you may cook a dinner that may be ruined. While the ruined food may not be a big issue in itself, the fact that you don’t know whether to cook or not could cause friction between you.
So the question Does he have a drinking problem should be better phrased does his drinking cause problems in our life or relationship. It was for this reason that we created the assessment tool SHARE that you can find in our website and that so many people have found to be so useful.