Yes we know it is obvious that you don’t argue with a drunk. Everybody knows that it is pointless but why do you end up having these heated conversations or deep and meaningful ones? The answer to that is easy – it is because you are human and you get sucked into the conversation or argument before you know it.
You have been waiting for her or him to come home or meet you somewhere and when she does she is drunk. You are angry that yet again he has not respected you enough to arrive home sober or on time, despite numerous requests. You voice your disapproval and she justifies her state with the immortal words – I’m not drunk, I only slipped in to have a couple. Clearly this is not true and, in your exasperation, you ‘point this out’. Then the argument “Oh yes you are” – “Oh no I’m not” begins in earnest and your frustration levels get higher and higher as do both your voices. Do you recognise the scene?
This is a common question if I don’t argue with a drunk, he or she will just be getting away with it. I need to tell him how I feel. Actually your ‘need’ is about getting your feelings and frustrations out. It is about you expressing your anger. However, as a strategy for change, to stop this happening again, it is completely ineffective.
As John says in the video, he rationalised the situation by pointing to, what he saw as, her unreasonable behaviour and expectations. In fact the argument only fuelled the need for more drinking.
It is much more productive, and easier on the nerves and emotions, to be polite to the drunk and then take yourself off to another room. Even better, if you can find something else entirely to do, like visit a friend, go to the cinema that way you do not need to get into arguments or conversations with the drunk. So don’t argue with a drunk, go and have some time for yourself instead.